Crystal, the girlfriend of Roman, Jeremiah's American boss whom he kidnaps. As Jeremiah's plans fail, Roman sends Bill, a psychopathic hitman after them. Crystal and Jeremiah tread the dangerous path of a love on the run. But as they run farther and as they fall deeper, a dark secret burns even stronger.

Desperate filmmaker Osric Taylor dreams of making his civil war Hamlet but when production funding dries up, he agrees to take southern matron Hester Beauchamps offer to fund the film if he throws some zombies in it to make their money back. But when Hester dies in mid shoot, Osric dresses up as Hester to cash the last check and awakens the suspicions of both the local police and ambitious local news reporter Shine Reynolds. Inspired by an actual incident.

An underwater earthquake cracks open a crater deep beneath the ocean's surface unleashing a prehistoric predator. On the sleepy island of White Sands, local teens drink and party beside a beach bonfire. One of them wanders off after a pretty girl and disappears, leaving only a severed hand behind.

In this spoof of "March of the Penguins," nature footage of penguins near the South Pole gets a soundtrack of human voices. Carl and Jimmy, best friends, walk 70 miles to the mating grounds where the female penguins wait. The huddled masses of females - especially Melissa and Vicki - talk about males, mating, and what might happen this year. Carl, Jimmy, and the other males make the long trek talking about food, fornication and flatulence. Until this year, Carl's sex life has been dismal, but he falls hard for Melissa. She seems to like him. A crisis develops when Jimmy comes upon something soft in the dark. Can friends forgive? Does parenthood await Carl and Melissa?