A gang of thieves plan to make their fortune by stealing a shipment of contraceptive pills from Finisham maternity hospital. They assume disguises and infiltrate the hospital, but everything doesn't go according to plan. The hypochondriac consultant Sir Bernard Cutting, Matron and the doctors and nurses at Finisham have a habit of getting in the way.

Edward Lionheart (Vincent Price) stars as an actor overlooked for a critics' acting award, despite producing a season of Shakespeare plays. After confronting the Critics' Circle, an attempted suicidal dive into the Thames results in Lionheart being rescued by your typical paraffin/meths/turps swigging tramps. Lionheart then (presumed dead) exacts his grizzly, and quite amusing revenge on the critics who denied him his finest hour.

Young DJ Vantia Block is hosting a music show when two renegade hoodlums phone her and start making trouble. The situation changes rapidly as the kids drive to a passageway and get sawed to pieces by Leatherface while the shocked DJ listens the kids' screams. Local sheriff approaches Block and convinces her to play the recording made from the phone call on radio, hoping that the killers would show up.

This is the tale of industrial strife at WC Boggs' Lavatory factory. Vic Spanner is the union representative who calls a strike at the drop of a hat; eventually everyone has to get fed up with him. This is also the ideal opportunity for lots of lavatorial jokes...

Killer Movie tells the story of a reality television shoot that goes awry when its crew finds itself stranded in a remote Northern town. A killer is on the loose, stalking cast and crew members one by one. As past suspicions, betrayals and secrets inexplicably come into play, the nightmare of shooting this reality show becomes all too real for Jake, the show's director, his crew and Hollywood starlet Blanca Champion.

This is the tale of Albert Poop-Decker, a newly commissioned Midshipman (although he took 8 1/2 years to qualify). He joins the frigate Venus, and adventures through Spanish waters, mutinee and Pirates taking his Captain, his sweet-heart and his best-friend with him! With mistaken identities and shipwrecks awash, it's a surprise any of them live to tell the tale!

Captain S. Melly takes over as the new Commanding Officer at an experimental mixed sex air defence base. It's 1940 and England is under heavy bombardment, but the crew seem more interested in each other than the enemy planes above. Captain Melly plans to put a stop to all this, and becomes the target of a campaign to abandon his separatist ideals...

During Halloween, theater student Jenna Whooly returns to Bell Island to spend the holiday with her family and her boyfriend Alex Martin, a classmate of hers who was also raised on the island. Her younger brother Douglas "Dougie" Whooly is very attached to Jenna and is fascinated with the video game "Satan's Little Helper," and he becomes jealous with the presence of Alex. He leaves home wearing his costume of Satan's little helper, seeking Satan himself on the streets so he can ask him to kill Alex. Dougie meets a serial killer who, coincidently, is wearing a costume of Satan and decides to help him. He brings the insane murderer home, and Jenna and her mother Merrill Whooly believe that the masked killer is Alex acting like Satan to please Dougie. Later, the boy walks with the maniac along the streets, helping him to terrorize the locals.

Stodge City is in the grip of the Rumpo Kid and his gang. Mistaken identity again takes a hand as a "sanitary engineer" (plumber) by the name of Marshal P. Knutt is mistaken for a law marshal! Being the conscientious sort, Marshal tries to help the town get rid of Rumpo, and a showdown is inevitable. Marshal has two aids - revenge-seeking Annie Oakley and his sanitary expertise...

Dr Nookey is disgraced and sent to a remote island hospital. He is given a secret slimming potion by a member of staff, Gladstone Screwer, and he flies back to England to fame and fortune. But others want to cash in on his good fortunes, and some just want him brought down a peg or two.

Dick Turpin is terrorising the countryside around Upper Dencher. Captain Fancey and Sergeant Jock Strapp plan to put an end to his escapades, and enlist the help of the Reverend Flasher. Little do they know that the priest leads a double life. Then Madame Desiree and her "Birds of Paradise" arrive in the village...

That's Carry on is a 'best of the carry on's' movie with Kenneth Williams and Barbara Windsor introducing clips from all the Carry On movies (from Carry on Sergeant to Carry on Behind). The two regulars converse at the Rank Film building to host the film, with their own running gags involving Barbara's "assets" and Kenneth's desperate need of a toilet!!!

Christopher Columbus believes he can find an alternative route to the far East and persuades the King and Queen of Spain to finance his expedition. But the Sultan of Turkey, who makes a great deal of money through taxing the merchants who have to pass through his country on the current route, sends his best spy, Fatima, to wreck the trip.

The Helping Hands agency employs some very strange people to perform some very strange jobs! Even the simplest of tasks get bungled by the incompetent but lovable staff, as they get given jobs ranging from taking animals for walks (no ordinary animals you understand) to demonstrating new products at a large and prestigious exhibition...

The time of the French revolution, and Citizen Robespierre is beheading the French aristocracy. When word gets to England, two noblemen, Sir Rodney Ffing and Lord Darcy take it upon themselves to aid there French counterparts. Sir Rodney is a master of disguise, and becomes "the black fingernail", scourge of Camembert and Bidet, leaders of the French secret police...

Local councillor Sidney Fiddler persuades the Mayor to help improve the image of their rundown seaside town by holding a beauty contest. But formidable Councillor Prodworthy, head of the local women's liberation movement, has other ideas. It's open warfare as the women's lib attempt to sabotage the contest.

A post-apocalyptic tale based on a novella by Harlan Ellison. A boy communicates telepathically with his dog as they scavenge for food and sex, and they stumble into an underground society where the old society is preserved. The daughter of one of the leaders of the community seduces and lures him below, where the citizens have become unable to reproduce because of being underground so long. They use him for impregnation purposes, and then plan to be rid of him.

Set in Haven Hospital where a certain men's ward is causing more havoc than the whole hospital put together. The formidable Matron's debut gives the patients a chill every time she walks past, with only Reckitt standing up to her. There's a colonel who is a constant nuisance, a bumbling nurse, a romance between Ted York and Nurse Denton, and Bell who wants his bunion removed straight away, so after drinking alcohol, the men decide to remove the bunion themselves!

Two Britons are captured and enslaved by invading Romans and taken to Rome. Hengist Pod creates useless inventions, while Horsa is a brave and cunning fighter. One of their first encounters in Rome leaves Hengist being mistaken for a fighter, and gets drafted into the Royal Guard to protect Cleopatra. Cleo doesn't want him around and plots for his sudden demise...

The popular Dr Kilmore is sacked after being discovered in a compromising position on the roof of the nurses' home. The patients are determined not to lose him, and so take on the might of the "cutting" Dr Tinkle and the overpowering Matron.